Dr. Andrew

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Why do people keep asking when we're going to have a baby. I think that's rude. How should I handle this? We are not ready yet.

Just smile and say, "When we think we're ready." It's not unusual for young couples to hear that question.

My bf is super in all ways except he keeps mansplaining to females. He doesn't do it with me since I snapped at him. How do I get him to stop? It's embarrassing.

Explain to him that it makes him look like a jerk and that you want other women to think as highly about him as you do. Guys fall for that shit :)

Can a couple ever get over someone cheating? I've been crying for almost a month. We've been going together for a year. Now I'm scared.

This question comes up quite often. As long as BOTH parties work really, really hard with an experienced profession, then it can be overcome. You have every right to be scared.

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How should a woman respond if she's asked what she wants for an engagement ring? I heard you should not say anything. I don't need a big ring but I'd like a nice one. I don't know what he can afford.

Good question. Keep in mind that while a woman should be appreciative, she's also going to have to wear that ring for a hopefully very long time, so it needs to be something she feels good about. If a guy is going to do a surprise proposal, he needs to know what she likes.

This girl found me online. She wants to go out with me. How do I know she's legit? I just got out of a relationship and don't want to get hurt again. Do I just blow her off or what?

Don't blow her off without doing your research first. There are quite a few sites that will give you an outstanding detailed report on everything about her. It's a very good use of funds. Do it!

Perfect first date?

It's a very individual thing. For some, it's a concert, a dinner, or a sporting event. Could be something like a comedy show, an opera, or whatever. Find out what your potential date's interests are, and go with that.

Am I obligated to get a Christmas gift for a guy that I've been dating for only 2 weeks? Seems a little overdone.

You're not obligated to do anything. But the real question is - why would you not get him a gift?

How can you tell if someone really loves you? I hear there are all kinds of checklists but IDK. Seems like there's really no way to know for sure.

No matter what anyone says, there is not to tell exactly, but I would go with the respect and honesty first. In every case, only time will tell.

My gf shocked me when she told me the size of the diamond she wants for her engagement ring. I ain't a rich dude. Made me feel like I'm making the wrong decision. Do girls usually do that?

No, girls don't usually do that. I went through the exact same thing with another woman before I married my wife. I flew her out from back east. I quickly ended the relationship. Best decision I ever made. She needs to go.

I can't believe my bf broke up with me just before Christmas. I'm trying to figure out why. I go between crying and screaming. Should I just ask him? It's not fair.

Doesn't make it right, but you have to deal with it. You will never find out exactly why, so don't go there. You will get over it with a bit of time. It's a blow to your self esteem, but don't ever be with someone who doesn't want to be with you just the way you are.

Me and my bf have been on diets. Now with the holidays he is watching me like a hawk. I didn't sign up for that. What do I do now?

Explain that while you appreciate him trying to help you, you need to find your own way so that you can learn self-discipline. He's looking out for both of you, but obviously it's getting under your skin. Lead with love.

My aunt wants me to set her up with my bf's father. He's been single for like 10 years. I feel funny doing that. Should I set them up or how do I get out of it? I don't want the blame if it doesn't work.

You can just provide a phone number or other contact, and that's it. Just tell her you're not comfortable doing anything else. I don't know the relationship between the two of you, but if you're close, hey, be a matchmaker!!

Our son refuses to discuss sex with his son so our grandson (he's 16) has come to us. We are very close to him. To we tell him he should get the info from his father or do we just explain the birds and bees to him?

He obviously trusts you. Provide him with the information that he needs. Unfortunately, your son is not doing his job as the male parent of a male. Something else is going on with him.

My mom look REALLY young. People think we're sisters. She thinks it's cool but I don't. What do I say to people? It makes me think I look really old.

Look at it this way. If you look alike, that means when you are her age, you'll look that good, too. Have fun with this. Don't look at it as a negative. Enjoy your relationship with your mom.

My ex is in jail for 4 more years. We've split but now he wants to know about my relationships with my new bf. What do I do? He was a nice guy, but ...

Very simply, he's your ex. Don't respond at all. It will only encourage him.

How do I stop comparing guys to my ex? I guess I still miss him but I'm trying to move on.

You have not gone through the loss process. I would strongly suggest getting some short-term therapy to help you. Clearly, you're not able to do this on your own.

I'm 44 and still live with my parents but in their back house. Me and my lady want to live together but my parents are against it. I pay them rent for living there. Should they be able to tell me what to do in this case?

Here's my advice - grow a pair and grow up. Go live somewhere else. Sounds like you're 44 going on 14.

I'm an 18 yo female in high school. There's this very young (22) male teacher. I'm madly in love with him. I think he feels the same way. Since I'm an adult is this going to create a problem?

Most definitely!! He could lose his teaching credential and never be allowed to teach anywhere again. This is December. If you two are really that connected wait 6 more months until you graduate. If you really care about, don't put his career at risk.

I'm a 16 yo female. I got drunk at a party and made out with another girl. Now everyone says I'm a lesbian. What do I do?

Let's start with ... don't get so drunk that you don't know what you're doing, especially at 16. There's nothing you can do now if people are talking. Remember, your actions have consequences.

Why is it every time I just talk to a guy they think I'm into them? Makes me think that maybe I shouldn't talk to guys.

Just keep your boundaries. There's nothing wrong with being friendly, but you may be giving off signals you may not be aware of. Ask a friend who's close to you. They may surprise you with their answer.

Is it really possible to have male and female parts at the same time? I heard this but I thought they were just kidding.

Yes, it's true. It is a result of a genetic mutation. Generally, doctors will wait until puberty to see which is more dominant before deciding on surgery.

I want this guy to take me to the prom. How do I get him to do that?

This is 2018. Ask him if he's going first. If he says no, ask him if he's like to go. Even if he says yes, ask him with whom because he may be going alone. Be bold.

I don't understand why my bf keeps gaslighting me. I've called him on it several times and he doesn't respond. How do I break him of doing this. It's really annoying.

Call him on it every time, especially if there are others around. He'll either get it, or you'll break up.

My mom met this guy who seems really nice but IDK. He treats her well for now. I'm worried because she's made bad choice in men (married three times). How do I find out?

As I have recommended before in relationships, there are many online services that do a really good job of doing background checks. Do that.


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