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I got this woman a really nice necklace. We’ve been going out for about two months. She gave it back to me and said it was too soon. I was really hurt. My friends said she is an ungrateful bitch and to break up with her. What else could it be?

It could most certainly be that she just thinks it's too much too soon. Don't rush to judgement. Your friends are just trying to be protective of you. Give her some time, and then you will know.

I am so pissed at my parents. I just found out they put something on my phone to track me. I say it’s a violation of privacy. They say it’s their right as parents. Who is right?

Sorry, but it's not a violation of any laws. It's more a violation of trust. Good parents know where their children are. It may seem unfair, but they are being protective. I personally think a better way to handle it would have been to tell you what they were doing and why, unless, of course, you have given them some reason to be worried.

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Is it possible to have a happy relationship with someone who is 20+ years younger? Or, is there just too large of a generation gap?

If you are 90 and the other person is 70, it probably doesn't make any difference. However, if you are 40, and the other person is 20, you are at different stages of your life, and that makes relationships difficult. That's not to say that there aren't successful relationships with big age gaps. It's only to say that it presents an obstacle.

I want to date this bodybuilder but I hate working out. Is she going to put fitness pressure on me?

Just off the top of my head, I would say you are going to have a major problem. If she is a true bodybuilder, it's her passion. You would have very little in common. Also consider that she values the artistic value of working out. She might not have any interest in you.

I really want to go college, but I get so anxious every time I set foot on the campus. all the feelings and bad memories of High school just come rushing back and I can't cope. Should I take online classes, or is that just avoiding the problem? I do have a job, but 4 some reason I feel no anxiety.

Do yourself a favor and get some professional help. You obviously have some unresolved issues left over from high school that are getting in the way of your potential. It's quite common to have some anxiety about being on a college campus. It can be intimidating. This is not just a situation of "just deal with it." You really need some help and support to get through. Don't put it off.

My running partner on our track team is my bf. I keep holding back because I don’t want to beat him and make him look bad. He got shit from our teammates when I beat him. What do I do?

You are an athlete. Athletes don't like to lose, male or female. If you can beat him, do it. If he gets shit from the other guys, too bad. Don't ever sacrifice yourself in sports just to make someone else look good. Part of the fun of being a competitive couple is that you can push each other and really enjoy it. A male who is intimidated by the athleticism of a female is not worth dating. You da woman!!

What does it mean to be a "Switch" My friends told me to take a sexual/ bdsm quiz online the other day and it said I am a switch, but my friends said that's a bad sign, especially if I want to date someone in the bondage community.

Different things mean something different in different places, but generally someone in that community who is considered a "switch" is someone who alternates between being the "bondage" and the "bondage". It can get a bit confusing when you are switching roles. I don't know necessarily that it's a bad sign, but it can create some interesting scenarios.

my buddy found a fetish lady from an ad, and he sees her pretty frequently. he tells me that he really likes her and wants to see if she'll date him exclusively.Maybe I shouldn't judge, but I just think of her as a gold digger and he is delusional. Can they really have a true relationship together??

Anything is possible, even if it isn't something you would do. I certainly think you are being a good wing man by watching out for him, but he may already have his mind set on what he wants to do. Just be supportive. Don't judge.

I'm in a great relationship nowadays. Sometimes though I get scared, because when I was younger (and stupider) I had a tendency to get clingy and eventually it lead to cyber stalker-ish tendencies. What can I do to make sure I never regress into those bad habits? I meditate and write now is tht engh

No one can force you to learn from your mistakes, but hopefully you will. If you are needy and clingy, it can only lead to a break up. Most people don't want to be with someone who is really whiny and needy. It sounds like you are already doing good, healthy things for yourself. Keep on that path, and you will be able to overcome your insecurities, which is obviously what caused you to act the way you did. The best advice is to pick the right person, then you won't have to worry.

My son just told me that our friends’ daughter is posting selfies and that her parents don’t know. Her parents are good friends of ours, and the daughter is part of our extended family group. How do I let them know in a way that is helpful and won’t explode?

First, you need to congratulate your son for being a good enough friend to be concerned about what is going on, especially considering he make take a lot of shit for letting someone know. It's actually an advantage that your families are close and that you can act almost in the capacity of an aunt or uncle. You need to be face to face with your friends and explain that while this is really awkward, you would hope they would let you know if something like this were happening in your family. Make sure that you bring one of the selfies so that they know it is simply not a rumor. All of us, me included, did things as young people that weren't the smartest of ideas. Friends don't let friends do really stupid stuff that could get them in serious trouble.

My gf lies to me about shit that doesn’t matter. I keep telling her that I don’t get upset about what she is doing but I do get upset about her not telling me the truth. When I ask her why she needs to lie, she tells me she just doesn’t like being wrong. How do we get past this?

I just had a couple with the exact same issue. My suggestion is that you two get some short-term therapy so that both of you can really understand what is going on rather than getting mad. If you let anger get in the way, it will only cause greater problems. Clearly, there is something going on, probably from her past, that is causing her to have difficulty telling the truth even with things that don't matter. As difficult as it is, try not to get mad because that will only make the situation worse.

My bf’s brother cross dresses. It really makes me uncomfortable when this happens. I don’t know how to handle this. His family seems like it’s no big deal. Any suggestions would help.

His family is trying to be totally accepting of who he is. It certainly is understandable that you would be uncomfortable if you have never experienced cross dressing before. it certainly is not mainstream. What you might want to think about doing is learning as much as you can about it. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to totally accept it, but it may make you at least more comfortable being around him. Ultimately, it's your decision as to what you do and if it's enough of an issue to break up with your bf. I would hope not, but sometimes what is tolerable for one is not for another. if you haven't done so already, talk to your bf about your feelings.

Does my husband have a right to search my phone? He says there should be no secrets if we are married. I think certain things should still be private.

It really depends on what the two of you establish as privacy. The simple answer to your question is, no, he does not have a "right" to search your phone any more than you have a right to search his. Just being married doesn't mean you give up all privacy. However, the definition of privacy is up to what the couple mutually decides. There are always some secrets. As an example, my wife talks to our daughter about things best left between mother and daughter. I would never want to invade on those secrets. What I sense here is that your husband has a trust issue with you, and that is a much bigger problem than just looking at your phone.

so I got a question. My girl told me to go in deeper, but she knows damn well I ran outta dick. What do I do? should i kill myself? or should I kill her?

It's a poor workman indeed that blames his tools.
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sometimes I really feel uncomfortable in my own skin. As a young man I feel kind of awkward talking about it, but I have days that are beyond stressful. I know I'm thin and healthy, but I can't shake these feelings

I would very much suggest you see a therapist to sort things out so that you are more comfortable with who you are. It seems you have some issues sitting under the surface that really need to be explored and brought to a conscious level. I'm sure it's not pleasant for you to constantly doubt yourself. Please get this taken care of so you don't continue to suffer.

I have a profile on the website OKCupid and I occasionally browse the profiles. I've noticed the people I'm most interested in are technically not considered a "match" yet the people I'm "compatible" with don't seem similar to me at all! What's up with that?

One of the reasons we created our app, Love Shopping List, is that you get to pick the characteristics and match them against people. We have had a number of people tell us the same thing you have said about the dating sites. Remember, it's just computers matching you, not you matching you.

My mom asked me if I was gay. I told her I'm not but I feel like she doesn't believe me. she's really accepting, but it's getting on my nerves because she doesn't believe that I'm straight

The first question I would have is why is she asking? Is it a religious thing in your family or what. Tell her that you've told her the truth, but also ask her what she would do if you were. She should be accepting of you whatever you are. If she keeps up the questioning, you may need to get some professional help.

Can you really get pregnant without intercourse? That doesn’t sound right.

It may not sound right, but, yes you can. Assuming we are not just talking about artificial insemination, just regular fooling around without intercourse can do it. If sperm is deposited at the entrance to the vagina or near it, the little buggers have built in radar that points them in the right direction. It's very rare, but it does happen.

I heard people from some cultures make better lovers. Is that really true?

Making love is an art form. No one culture has a lock on how to do it. As with any skill, it depends on the person and how well they have practiced and perfected their skills. Everybody is supposed to be a great lover, but nobody is supposed to talk about it or practice. Makes it hard to figure out. The best lovers are those that satisfy their partners in all respects, and that comes from truly making love, not just having sex.

My daughter is 14 and looks like she’s 20. I know I’m being an overprotective dad, but I feel like grabbing every guy that looks at her. Throw me a lifeline here. Overprotective Dad

Dear Dad. It's called "projection." You know what you were like at a young age, and you are assuming that all the guys are looking at your daughter it the same way you looked. Payback's a bitch, huh? Just teach your daughter how to handle the situations. You will not always be there, and she is going to have to figure out how to navigate through the water with all the male sharks.

My bf works insane hours to the point I don’t get enough time with him. He tells me he’s doing it for us so that when we get married we won’t have to sweat it out. I hear him, but I still would like more attention. How do we work this out?

Be appreciative that he is trying to set things up so the two of you have a stress free life together. Stop being so needy. It will only drive him away from you. There are so many women who have to push their men to be better providers. As long as he is giving you attention and remembering important events, be as supportive as you can, or he may wind up with someone who is more appreciative.

Me and my next door neighbor grew up together. Now we are both in high school. Our mom’s even had us playing in the crib together. We are thinking about going together but it seems weird. Can this work?

Absolutely it can work. The best relationships are those in which the couple are best friends. You two know each other really well. That puts you several steps ahead already. It's not a guarantee, but knowing each other that well is certainly a good start.

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