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So dan what would you say is the biggest difference in your viewpoints on creating art now vs. when you were younger? It's been a while since I've heard you talk about this so I've wondered what has changed.

It would be a very long post, so I'll talk about this sometime when I do a drawstream again. But long story short, I've come to appreciate doing art as a kind of gardening and a piece of art as a kind of garden -- a more modest but richer view than I would have accepted year ago, but not totally different. There's a lot more to be said about the nature of that garden, but I'll save it for the stream.
By the way, working on Vampire Bride and Algis in particular (the gardening witch) has sharpened some of my thoughts on this, funnily enough.

Will you re release paper xi for purchase agin?

I suppose I could use one of those print-on-demand services again. I'll give a shout on twitter if it ever happens.
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Liked by: Patrick Shaffer

4/4 pray for us and Apostle's safe return. Also, you might noticed I was purged off twitter and now I am over on Gab now under @ TheFluffBringer so if you can make an account over there I can talk to you again. It's a good site to be on.

What! Purged?!
Dammit... good idea...

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3/? His wife may say she is hopeful, but I know she is worried. The kids are all over the place about this, but they want him back ASAP. I am personally joining in with the herds in hunting him down and getting him home.

I bet some day he'll appear out of the blue with some rough headpats, candy from a faraway land, and some interesting smells and stories.

2/? We can't reach him on cel signals and the tracking musclehorns lost his scent. I fear a witch has taken him, but which one and where he went is unknown art the moment. A full scale deep exploration of the caves is likely the only option we have left.

Perhaps he has heard the call of another herd... or the at last taken his place in the witch caves and become a full apostle. The apostles are mysterious beings after all and often appear or disappear unexpectedly...

Dear Mr. Kim, This is your old pal and family to Defectivehorn Apostle. I have bad news to report to you. The big man as been deemed MIA, and I think he might be a POW now. He had gone on a trip though the witch tunnels and we lost him. 1/?

fluffbringer’s Profile Photofluffbringer
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
DEFECTIVEHORN APOSTLE NO

I'm scared of drawing now. The act of putting pen to paper (or stylus to tablet) only evokes memories of better times. I'm scared that I may spend the rest of my life drawing without finding that spark again. Alright, I think that's enough parasocial offloading onto people who don't know me. (4/3)

Chasing your former self is a classic mistake. When you are a young man you will produce a young man's work with a young man's problems. As you become an old man you must work as an old man, produce as an old man, and of course you will have have an old man's problems... one of which is chasing his younger self. The way over it is to remember that there is a season for all things and that plant and reap wisely, with what time and season are available to you.
You'll notice that I've stopped updating Tomoyo42's Room. It's very much an younger man's work (which I love) but I can't make that kind of comic anymore (except in pale imitation -- in a "HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS" kinda way). Instead I'm focusing on works that make sense to me now. Part of the reason this is possible for me is that I am largely focused on using my art as a tool for working out ideas about problems that seem pertinent now, making out temporary answers or portraits of things as they seem to me, now, in this season. It is a sort of logbook rather than an attempt to reach out and touch something eternal and unchanging which, if it existed, would be the measuring stick against which all creations would be measured and would reduce every work to a measure of success of failure to conform to that eternal something. Maybe it's massive cope, but I don't think the world is that kind of thing (at least anymore). But coming to this point may just be where I happened to have ended up while picking away at my art all these years. What I hope for you is this: that your journey will interesting and as worthwhile for you, whichever way you choose to go. And I can tell you from my own experience: even when you leave that young man's spark behind, there is plenty on the other side. A surprisingly plenty. Consider it one of nature's small graces that what we leave behind can become a platform to propel us with equal and opposite force.

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A-cutests no longer elicit the doki with the same primality. I feel completely brain broken; like something deep within me has run dry and cold, like all my circuits are shorted. I'm looking for a doctor of course, but I'm wondering if you had any advice beyond that. Is there any hope for me? (3/3)

If it's medical then medicine may help -- but mostly I would recommend lifting/exercise, experiencing new things, and actually FORCING yourself to take a break from drawing. Why? Because if you're drawing from passion (as opposed to obligation or discipline) overexposure and adaptation has an outsize effect on your productive output. Imagine a doujin artist that can only draw when HORNY but chooses to constantly get immersed 24/7 with the hardest and lewdest of hardcore porn. Well, this doujin artist would quickly adapt the the prevailing environment and lose the spark. Of course normal biological development plays a strong part as well -- our imagined doujin artist can't be a horny teenager forever, so probably has to move on to more psychological and situation based works, perhaps even taking an intellectual bend and exploring more dimensions of the erotic/sensuous/taboo/etc. The point here is that you must work to do your best with what you are and the season that is available to you.
As a wise man once said...
YOU FIGHT LIKE A YOUNGER MAN, WITH NOTHING HELD BACK... ADMIRABLE, BUT MISTAKEN!!!

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Acutests no longer elicit the doki with the same primality I feel completely

Lately, drawing feels like a chore. Where each stroke was joyful in and of themself, everything is now bland and effortful. Brain-picture creation is at an all-time low (as in literally across my entire lifespan). (2/3)

That definitely happens from time to time. As any journey goes, there are moments where the land is easy to cross and moments where it is arduous. As always, what to keep in mind is what lies ahead, what lies behind, what other lands there might be to travel, and what lands are reachable with what you have on hand now (and what you might pick up vs lose in the future). There's also the chance of unpredictable events (weather, etc.) as well as the unknown unknowns... but all you can do is behave rationally (all things reasonably considered). But what you should keep in mind is that this is normal ... after all there MUST be lowest points somewhere, and until you hit the global low you may encounter many times where things are worse than they ever were before.

Hey, Dan. This is probably beyond your wheelhouse, but I wanted to see if your years of depressed internet artistry had any wisdom to offer. (1/3)

Hello! Apologies for the very late response. I haven't been keeping tabs on my ask.fm account. Answering below...

7/7 I will be keeping the great horn mother and parts of the visiting herds in safe keeping for now. I might be expecting more herds tomorrow. Wish me luck Mr. Kim.

Good luck, and merry Christmas, defectivehorn apostle!
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6/? Also the horn mothers are still following the Great Horn mother's orders, but each one seems to have their own take in how to do it. That often causes friction between them and arguments have happened. It's kinda amusing to watch them bicker.

Kukuku =w=
Even if the horns change over a thousand generations, this part will probably never change... kukuku!
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Liked by: fluffbringer

5/? In fact moving such heavy stones is now a challenge for the musclehorns and they are all into it. With some dirt being moved and tapestry being made, it is really starting to look like something from a fantasy setting.

Amazing! I would like to see this structure for myself. Perhaps I can ask Cupcake to take a picture for me.
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4/? You can guess they are going to perform some sort of ritual I never heard of before. The horns are going all out to get this ready in time. Muscle horns are having a time lifting, moving and setting boulders just right under direction.

It seems the earthian horns are becoming more and more different from those on Big Egg. Perhaps one day they will look more like the Oni that appear in old earthian stories...
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3/? It seems that the earth herds are attuned to Earth's solar cycles and they know that tomorrow, Dec 21, is the winter solstice. The great horn mother wants to create a Stonehenge like set up in one of my farm fields.

!!!
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2/? A couple of days ago I found out why the horns are so active now. The Great Hornmother and several other herd's horn mothers have arrived at my horn caves. But this time it's NOT about choosing a new Great horn mother.

I see! The horns must feel very safe if they are allowing their hornmothers to journey outside. =w=
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Defectivehorn Apostle here, It's been quite a week here for me and my family here at my home stead. With Christmas nearly here, I thought I would have a quiet time but not this time. My normally sleepy herds have been VERY awake and busy this time. 1/?

Hello, defectivehorn apostle!
It's quite quiet here in the witch caves. I'm curious about your herds.
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5/5 I do have some bad news. With Canada going into new lock downs, the cake sisters was not allowed to enter Canada to see you. If we still can't get them too you by Christmas, will you take a zoom call with them instead?

My call never seems to get through ... m-my cutest and a best wouldn't block me, would she?
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Liked by: fluffbringer Leedah

4/? After making sure the sleeping horns were going to be alright, my family and I enjoyed a MUCH quieter Thanksgiving. Of all the food pics you take Mr. Kim, I didn't see you take one of a proper Thanksgiving meal. I hope you got one.

Sadly I didn't have a thanksgiving meal with turkey this year, but maybe next year... ;w;
I'm glad to hear you're having a happy family and herd-filled holiday. =w=
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Liked by: fluffbringer Leedah

3/? I did find another curious thing with the horns. If they eat enough turkey, they WILL fall asleep for a good while. Even the wild turkeys. And this spreads down to even the newly hatched small horns who are nursing from a horn who ate turkey.

Hornmothers always nap after eating (well, after doing anything, really), so maybe it's not that unusual...
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Liked by: fluffbringer Leedah

2/? Fall came and went, the harvest has been gathered and now the herds are settling down for winter time work. This is when they make cloth and leather clothing of all kinds. They need them now that frost has arrived and it gets COLD up here.

It's always pleasing to watch the herd hard at work. I wonder if they've picked up the fashion of the nohorns around them...?
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Liked by: fluffbringer

Defectivehorn Apostle here, Sorry for not writing to you for so long Mr. Kim. Between work, family, the cake sisters, the herds and the Hoildays, I have been a busy man. All the same i hope you had a Good Thanksgiving. 1/?

Hello, Defectivehorn Apostle!
Happy Thanksgiving to you. I hope your family and herd are doing well. I hope Cupcake isn't causing too much trouble during her extended stay...
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Defectivehorn Apostle here, I heard you are a rather busy man Mr. Kim. Well, so am I these days. The extra wing of my house I had built to house the Cake sisters is done and they are well moved in and comfy. Now for the hard part. 1/?

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2/? School is starting up and the State of Virginia is still a complete mess in regards of getting the kids back to school. So I made the call and bit the bullet, all of the kids are going to be home schooled with remote learning via zoom with certified teachers.
3/? Interestingly enough a number of my horns want to join in as well. Remember last year I told you I had a horn that tricked her way into going to school with my kids? She's now all excited to try again along side my daughters and the cake sisters.
4/? I do have a number of idle horns waiting for the crops to finish getting ready to be harvested so have to get them to be tied up with something till then. Even @muscle_Horn might learn how to write in cursive this fall.
5/5 Personally I am doing fine and so Is my wife all my kids. This year has been an insane one. It's Labor day now and Summer is done. I can feel Fall in the air at night. So can the horns. I suspect we will have a harsh snowy winter this year.
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I am glad to hear your family is well, Defectivehorn Apostle. =w=
As for writing, it's clear that the horns have a capacity for it since the LEEDAH keeps the herd records, and from time to time it seems that haremhorns can understand the recrords (now and then the haremhorns can be seen glancing at the pages of the records after tidying up the records around a post-snack sleepy leedah) but they never seem to write anything themselves. It would be interesting to know what they would write if made to do so, since they usually limit themselves to herdtree/cave wall paintings.

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Defectivehorn Apsotle here, I do apologize for not writing to you recently. Being a dad and over seer of the horns keeps me busy. A few days ago, something showed up from the witch caves and it's making my horns stirred up in both good and bad. 1/?

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2/? At first I thought it was strange looking girl, but it is in fact a robot! She is more advanced than what we could normally make but she seems to move a bit stiff like she needs maintenance I can't give her.
3/? That robot programming is set to clean and straiten up everything it comes across. This is causing confusion with my horns. They see a 'nohorn' yet it does not smell like one. The musclehorns can't scare it as it does not react to their threats.
4/? The working horns love it because it does their work of cleaning and fixing things, yet hate it for trying to remove the cave moss on the floor. It even tried to clean the eggs in the nursery! It learned quickly what it is not allowed to do.
5/? All I can get from it that is came from the moon and it can speak English. It was cleaning my house when it came to a stop and no longer reacted. It obviously ran out of power and while I tried to move it, I found a hidden compartment on her body.
6/? I found a cord with what looks like a wall plug so I stuck it in a wall outlet. Lo and behold a charging display on her forehead appeared. it's been a full day now and she only gained 2% from an empty battery.
7/7 I guess it'll wake up at 100% but that will take some time. Thankfully it's not sucking up a large amount of power, no more than a normal LED light bulb. I guess I have a new worker now. At least it doesn't need a bed or eat food.
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Defectivehorn Apostle -- watch out!! You better search the area you found that robot and make sure there aren't any more around. One robot might be okay, but a large number can cause LIMITLESS destruction. There's a story on Big Egg about how one of the moons was polished TOTALLY SMOOTH to the point of being reflective by the long-eared bunnies that lived on that moon. I think there may be more to that story than meets the eye.
Be careful, Defectivehorn Apostle!

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Defectivehorn Apostle here, The crops are still doing well but it's not yet time for the harvest so the horns have not much to do other than wait and watch the Musclehorns romp in the mud. So my exhausted wife came up with an idea that seems to work. 1/?

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2/? Seeing my house is getting messy by the day and she is too wrapped taking care of my children and I am with my work to do much about it. Until now. She has taught a few up them to be as acting house maids. Dresses and all!
3/? She picked out some of the horns that would follow orders the best and even had some simple maid uniforms created for them when they worked. Her, my daughters, and the cake sisters pitched in to sew them. it took them a week or more to make them.
4/? I realized I had to get them foldable step stools so they can reach higher than they normally could to clean. The plan seems to be working, but the horns do take awhile to get into a pattern. Nothing major broken yet......
4/4 My house is getting cleaner than it has in ages and my wife can relax a bit more too. Although I do wonder if I can get @muscle_Horn to work as a maid too?
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Haremhorns are the perfect maids. I hope the nohorn world at large never gets wind of their existence or they'll be captured and bred for such purposes... then again, a haremhorn might actually be quite happy with that kind of existence if there were enough horns around to care for and if they could get used to the nohorn smell. ;w;

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