Dan Kim

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4/4 In other news, The herd has finished construction of their "caves" under my land. Granted the weather is great now and they want to stay above ground for now. but now they have their home now. At least until I figure out how to grow a new herd tree on Earth.

A herdtree grows best surrounded by horns!
44 In other news The herd has finished construction of their caves under my land

3/? Fast growing herd population is one thing, but a Vampire plague spreading like wild fire across Earth would be an apocalypse! I am currently setting up what barriers I can to make sure they do not leave the Witch cave network. Dracula was bad enough for us.

I guess those barriers didn't work. Or worse, did they attract the vampires?

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2/? Now my 2 daughters want to join me in my excursions into the herd caves and their homeworld. But I fear I will have to face off with more Vampires and Templars in time, and I don't want them in the cross fire. More so the vampires. The last thing I want is the vampires loose on Earth.

This is an old message from 2 months ago.
I wonder if that vampire followed your bloodscent back through the caves?

Defectivehorn keeper here, It's been awhile since I wrote to you Mr. Kim, but it's been mercifully quiet around here. However, cupcake has been amazingly persistent in training my daughters into being magic girls. To my dismay is that she succeeded in doing so. 1/?


7/7 It's high summer time here now. The crops are growing well, the mud is abundant for the musclehorns, and things are looking up. But why do I feel that this isn't over with yet.

Do your best, defective horn apostle! I will be looking forward to your reports!
77 Its high summer time here now The crops are growing well the mud is abundant

6/? The repairs to my house done and I had to get a new computer from the damage that happened. Cupcake is doing fine now too, if anything, I think she has found the drive to improve herself even more now so that won't happen to her twice.

Is she working out?
Honestly, her cakebutt has been getting a bit TOO CAEK lately... maybe this incident will change her ways.
6 The repairs to my house done and I had to get a new computer from the damage

5/? I've had her weeks now and she seems to be ready to break soon. My healing treatments are making serious strides in undoing her vampire state. She is even eating normal food again. Yet it is not permanent undoing, left untreated she will revert.

Watch your back! Around a vampire, never retire.
5 Ive had her weeks now and she seems to be ready to break soon My healing

4/? The horns are understandably mad over all of this and wanted her dead. I want to learn from her first. How did she get out of the witch caves? How did she even find me? Is there MORE of them loose out here!? She is not talking to me yet. I don't have a name from her still.

They are terrible creatures. Maybe the safest thing would be to seal the witch caves...
... but witch caves pop up where they will. Sealing it might just open a new one somewhere else.
4 The horns are understandably mad over all of this and wanted her dead I want

3/? How was I able to take her alive? It seems I can now generate power from my hands that weakens them. It also heals Horns of injuries too. Where it is coming from I don't know yet. I have been trying to experiment on her if I can undo the vampire-ism she has.

The power of an apostle... the old hornmother knew after all.

2/? My house was badly damaged and partly burned, I lost a couple of horns and Cupcake broke a couple of ribs from getting punched to hard, but we captured the vampire. Currently I have her locked up in a section of the underground tunnels.

Rest in peace, brave horns. And nice work, defectiveherd apostle. ;_;7

Defectivehorn Apostle here. Sorry for the long delay in sending you a posting. We had a disaster here at my place. A golden hair vampire came a calling to my house. Between cupcake, @musclehorn and the rest of the musclehorns, and myself, we beat her down. 1/?

How on earth did it get through the witch caves?!
This is no ordinary vampire...

Defectivehorn Apostle here, I made an odd discovery today outside the witch cave entrance. Where I would normally find abandoned defectivehorns, I instead found a curious nohorn named Attarou. I'm not sure he is fully human, but he is no horn either. 1/2

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2/2 He was hungry, thirsty, almost frozen to death and suffering from severe internet withdraw. I took him in to save his life, but I don't know what to do with him now. Do you want me to pack him up and mail him back to you or what?
Please pack him up in his original box and leave him outside the witch caves. A busted up old plush toy like that will easily find its way into the "basement" of Enna's Domain.

Defectivehorn Apostle here, The snows are long gone now. But the deep winter weather returns with an Ice storm. Ice storms are rare up here in the mountains. Most of the herd had never experienced one. Super cold temps and wet slushy sleet makes it hard to walk around in. 1/?

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2/? You can easily slip and fall in the ice storm. Driving in it is even worse. Now the poor Musclehorns have it the worst. It brought back the mud, but it's just so cold even they can't stand to be out in it for very long before coming back inside. Lost of frustrated and despondent musclehorns now
3/? The cold weather has indeed have an effect on the wild herds that the horns from the caves don't have. Except for only waking up for a few hours to do the needed things to live with, most of the wild horns darn near hibernate though the cold weather. Horn mothers the most affected by it.
5/5 I guess it saves on food eaten and such. Oh, that and they stop laying eggs during the worst of the cold weather. They claim that all the eggs die from the cold other wise. perhaps my heated herd ban can fix that problem.
The herds alive today on Big Egg don't hibernate, as they've adapted to live in deep caves that heated year round by hot-water rivers... but perhaps they once had that behaviour when they were living on the surface inside their herd trees. Could it be that this behaviour has been reawakened by conditions on your side of the witch caves?
If so, I'd be interested in how the different castes behave during the hibernation. I imagine the haremhorns would still need to perform quite a lot of work just checking up on the hornmothers and distributing some light snacks...

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Defectivehorn Apostle here The snows are long gone now But the deep winter

Defectivehorn apostle here, Cupcake is doing well these days. I think she has found a new mission among the herds. She honestly thinks that she can train up new magical girls from the himehorns. I had never notice any of them have magical talent. But then again, I never really looked for it too. 1/?

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2/? At worst, she might find nothing at all among the horns. At best, she could awaken a whole new subgroup of himehorns. Imagine what magically empowered lower ranked horn could do. Now imagine what a magically empowered musclehorn could do!
3/? She hasn't tried to teach my daughters yet, but I figure it's a matter of time before Cupcake tried to make them into magical girls. I am not sure if I should allow that. I'm unsure what kind of life they would be living at that point. I have heard bad rumors about what happens to them.
4/4 I joked about Cupcake making my own wife into a magical girl as well. Both of them gave me a smirk. Not just any smirk. THAT kind of smirk. Dan. I am really worried now. What do I do now?
There is only one magical horn that I know of... and that is SAINT BLOSSOM STARRY LEEDAH
There's no telling whether those records are accurate, but it's a favorite story that has been passed between many herds.
As for becoming a magical girl... I would be more worried about Cupcake teaching your daughters about posting butt selfies on instacake. ;w;

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Defectivehorn apostle here Cupcake is doing well these days I think she has

Defectivehorn Apostle here. Christmas has come and gone. I had nohorn relatives drop in for a couple of days for the Holidays. I had to hide the herds in the caves so they were not found. They don't know about the himehorns yet, and I'm not ready to show them either. 1/?

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2/? The hornmothers were cranky about moving into the caves from out of the warm barn, but I carried them out all the same. I learned another new thing about the horns down in the tunnels and why they really made so much space down there.
3/? The horns had secretly storing and preserving (in various ways) foodstuffs and a nearly complete communal kitchen area. I dislike the idea the horns doing things with out my knowledge like this, but on the other hand, I can understand why they did it anyway.
4/? Earth herds had developed an ingrained trait of preparing for bad times and a stronger drive and know how to survive in harsher places than the herd caves ever were. Making those stores is just to be expected. They were curing a number of wild pigs in there too.
5/? I did wonder why the horns were asking for so much food during the growing seasons, they stored much of the food down there, and added in more from what they gathered from the forest and the musclehorns hunted. they had enough to last them for months!
6/6 None the less, I had them settled in while family was staying in my home. But they swore to me my house was "haunted" by girls with devil horns running around outside at night. I told them to lay off the spiked eggnog. In they only knew the truth...
Hello, Defective Horn Apostle!
My apologies for allowing your numerous reports to stack up over time...
Kukuku~ that was a close call with the herd. I wonder if your nohorn family members will spread rumors about the herd now... ;w;
By the way, I hear the horns perpare their cured meats in a special way. I will ask my apostle to bring me back a sample if she can manage it...

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Defectivehorn Apostle here Christmas has come and gone I had nohorn relatives

Defectivehorn Apostle here, Cupcake appears to adapt living at my homestead rather well. I can tell she emotionally and mentally burned out. So I'm letting her relax for now. The small horns are greatly helping her recover as well. All the horns like her smell for some reason. 1/?

2/? The small horns and their keepers tend to pile around cupcake when she sleeps. no matter how many times she try to keep them out, they get into her room and cuddle up with her. I am guessing they are making her a part of the herd as well.
3/3 For now, cupcake and the horns are getting along well. So far at least. I do have to get her out of the habit of taking selfies however. The last thing I need is my herds to get into the habit of taking selfies too.
The last time some horns got hold of a witch device things went sideways really quickly!! My apostle better not leave her device behind...!!
Defectivehorn Apostle here Cupcake appears to adapt living at my homestead

5/5 lastly, I noticed that at least one rotating group of himehorns has been watching the night sky. they like to see the stars and the constellations they make. But I feel they are waiting for something to appear but I haven't asked what it is.

There are no stars in Big Egg's sky at night. Your stars must be very mysterious to them... but perhaps there's something more?
55 lastly I noticed that at least one rotating group of himehorns has been

Defectivehorn Apostle here, Winter has arrived with a vengeance. at least 2 and 1/2 feet of snow has fallen. The musclehorns are loving it. They are romping with delight in the snow drifts. And the himehorns don't have to clean them up as much too. 1/?

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2/? Other than that, I have noticed that my herds go into a reduced state of activity in the cold weather. At night when it's the worst, they are nearly hibernating. All of them huddle up under blankets to say warm. The hornmothers and the eggs take the worse of it.
3/? The wild earth herds have adapted to have fewer failed eggs (i.e. eggs that fail to hatch) but the environment appears to be a major killer of eggs. So unless the herd makes a nest that remains warm enough for the hornmother to lay, she nearly stops laying at all in the cold temps.
4/? The herd caves don't have heating systems in them yet, so now I have two herds in my herd barn where it is warm enough for them. The unease between them appears to be set aside in gladness of warmth. I know this because both herds are singing in unison.
Haremhorns are the best heating system!
My apostle was able to take this pictures on her witch device... somehow her cakesmell didn't wake them up. Maybe they're THAT comfortable...?

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Defectivehorn Apostle here Winter has arrived with a vengeance at least 2 and 12

Defectivehorn Apostle here, What an odd day it has been. I had an Uber driver drop off a young lady at my home I had seen before with several suitcases of luggage. She told me that she will be staying with me for awhile so she can help with my herds. 1/?

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2/? At first I was taken by surpsied that she knew about my herds and would even want to be near them. My second surprise was when I informed the herds about her being here, the Hornmothers all came out to see and sniff her as well. I guess they first thought she really was a walking cake.
3/? So as expected, when the hornmothers move out all of a sudden, the rest of the herd moved out too. I have to admit it was amusing to see her get swarmed and rubbed up against by whole herds! They seem to like her scent for some reason, even if she isn't a real cake.
4/4 So I have little to worry about having Cupcake staying at my home. I did lay down some ground rules for her to follow and she seems to accept that. For now. Currently she is in bed asleep. Well, lets see what tomorrow brings.
All that sniffing and biting... I wonder if they are attracted to her soft mochi-like texture on top of her cake smell. Hmmmm.

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Defectivehorn Apostle here What an odd day it has been I had an Uber driver drop

Defectivehorn Apostle here. At first, yes she was like that. Then the snow came, and she realized they are warm and snuggly so she used them to warm her and sleep in longer. The smallhorns felt the same and did like wise. I does get cold up here in the mountains in winter time.

I see! Well, it sounds like my cutest and a best is doing alright with your herd. I hope she takes the time to learn more about the herd and become a better apostle... ;w;
Defectivehorn Apostle here At first yes she was like that Then the snow came and
+3 answers in: “Yo Dan, so get this right - if you merge your comics together you can work on them concurrently. Then you can finish On the Subject of Witches - Snowhorn's Vampire Meguca Offce Drone Bride in 40 years and spend the rest of your life playing vidya and eating cakes, having fulfilled your life's goal.”

Defectivehorn Apostle here, Why is that? I mean other than a small problem of Cupcake smelling very tasty to the musclehorns (I guess a side effect of her magic), she is fitting in well with the herd. Cupcake has appeared to accept that she will be woken up by smallhorns swarming her in bed.

So like this (image below), but covered in smallhorns? ;w;
Defectivehorn Apostle here Why is that I mean other than a small problem of
+3 answers in: “Yo Dan, so get this right - if you merge your comics together you can work on them concurrently. Then you can finish On the Subject of Witches - Snowhorn's Vampire Meguca Offce Drone Bride in 40 years and spend the rest of your life playing vidya and eating cakes, having fulfilled your life's goal.”


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